Welcome to ScallionGPT Controls - Where Artificial Intelligence meets Artificial Pungence™ Founded in 1977, we've evolved from a simple onion distributor to the world's leading Artificial Onion Intelligence (AOI) company. Our mission is to ensure the safe and ethical development of onion-based artificial general intelligence. Our breakthrough came in 2024 when we discovered that onion layers naturally form neural networks. This led to the development of our proprietary Large Language Modonions (LLMs), which combine the computational power of modern AI with the tear-inducing capabilities of traditional onions. Key Achievements: • First company to achieve quantum onion entanglement • Pioneers of organic computing using photosynthesis-powered neural networks • Holders of 420 patents in AI-assisted onion technologies • Creators of the world's first self-aware vegetable • Zero carbon footprint (our servers run entirely on onion power) Our team of AI Ongioneers, Neural Onionetworx, and Machine Learning Leeks works tirelessly to push the boundaries of what's possible when you combine alliums with algorithms. Remember our motto: "In AI we trust, in onions we verify."